We love you, and we wish you well. You are getting very anxious about money and work, and your life's purpose, etc. And first we would like to emphasize that there is really nothing you "have to do" in order for your life's purpose to be fully expresssed.
Remember that amazing part of that movie where the botanist is talking about insects and flowers, and how all their activity provides oxygen and food for the whole planet. But the insects and flowers are blissfully unaware of this purpose as they busily pursue their own purposes of eating and mating. Humans too fulfill a much greater purpose than just the things that humans think of to do.
The most important thing to do is to focus, and be aware of what is going on - get a better understanding of energy and energy flows. Too often you get tense and worried about things, or you feel guilty and inadequate. You are never alone, and you have no idea what powerful forces surround you. So you can let go of all the anxiety, do your cooking, Feng Shui and writing. Watch what unfolds.
Your Angels.
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